The Impact of Grief
A letter from our AFTER Grief Support Group Facilitator
The Impact of Grief
A letter from our AFTER Grief Support Group Facilitator
March, 2023
I’m in that club. You know the one, where its members are exclusive to those who have lost someone close and are blindsided by their grief.
Three and half years ago I received the knock on my door that would forever change my life. One simple question by the officer, “Do you have a son named Justin?” and the Dawn who existed died along with my boy, Justin, who was 22 years old. You may have heard people say that a part of them died the day they lost their person, but I would tell you different. I say all of me died that day. The person I was on July 18, 2019, is not the same person I am in 2023, that person is forever gone. The former “me” lived to see my child healthy, prayed and anticipated for life’s big events such as his wedding and my first grandchild, both of which will never take place.
A new me has formed. Believe it or not, I’m pleased with her and sometimes marvel at what she has walked through. I used to say if I lost my child I could never survive, and yet here I am typing this letter out to anyone who chooses to read it, assuring you that while life will never be the same, it does get better. Let me clarify, not better than before, but a different kind of progress. I find comfort in listening to the stories of others and a sense of connection when I encounter someone else who is on a similar path. I can bear witness to the pain of a grieving widow or parentless adult who feels like an orphan. I can hold a space and even cry with the parent who lost their son or daughter and assure them with two words, “I understand.”
AFTER is not a formula, so if you’re coming to look for answers, you may want to keep searching. None of us have gotten over our grief, we’ve learned (and still are) to get through it, integrating it into our lives. We feel each other’s pain and as far as I can tell, it’s the best balm for the broken hearted. This is a safe space to show up, share or just observe. This is your space if you feel the despair of your loss. This is AFTER.
I hope I don’t have to meet you but if you do happen to “join the club,” just know all your feelings are welcome here, no questions asked.
